Pride and Punishment
by Tabris Macbeth
Summary: It's basically a bunch of sexual predator humor in story form. YAY!


Pride and Punishment  
by Tabris Macbeth

disclaimer: I ran out of clever material for these things years ago.

* * *

Chapter 1: Tough Love

Breakfast was the most important meal of the day, and Laharl, Etna, and Flonne were sitting around one of those long tables only rich people can afford, waiting for said meal to arrive.

"Look at the damn clock!"

The girls more patiently than Laharl.

"Where the hell are those damn prinnies?! Breakfast is the most goddamn important meal of the goddamn day!"

"Now, Laharl," Flonne smiled, "The prinnies are hard at work! There's no need to hurl obscenities."

"The hell there is, bitch!" he retorted, "It's been fifteen minutes now! Where's my damn food?!"

Finally, prinny servants paraded into the dining room, carrying in breakfast with stubby little arms.

"One's a prinny god, Prince." said Etna, "Aren't we wasting resources, here?"

"A prinny's a prinny!" Laharl said in a dismissing tone, "C'mon, I'm starving here!"

The previously mentioned prinny god- the most powerful of all prinny kind- was naturally the one who had the honor of presenting the young Overlord his breakfast.

"Laharl, isn't there something you would like to say to the prinnies?"

Not that Laharl appreciated that.

"Yeah. What the hell's this crap?"

"Fiber Filled Fruity Malt Os, dood! Part of your complete breakfast!"

"The hell it is!" said Laharl, flinging his tray over, "You know I don't eat that generic crap! And is that normal toast?! _Normal toast?!_ I'm a freakin' overlord! French that crap up, bitches!"

"Laharl!" Flonne scolded, "That's very rude! The prinnies worked very hard to prepare breakfast, and you're still so mean to them!"

"Mean?" he laughed, "You think that's mean? This is mean!"

Laharl picked up the prinny god and punt kicked it into it's comrades, blowing up the deity and causing 15-18 hit hit points worth of damage to it's nearby worshippers.

"That was a prinny _god_, Prince!" Etna screamed, "You blew up a freaking _god_ of the prinnies! They are gonna be seriously pissed about this! They're gonna declare a Prinny Jihad or something!"

"So I'll just go kick the asses of some senators and make them declare a Prinny Day. That'll shut 'em up."

After all the wacky episodic misadventures they shared, after how much Laharl had grown as a person, how could he slip back into his old habits so quickly?

"Enough!" Flonne spoke up, "You abuse your servants, you disrespect your vassals-"

"Oh, I ride around on a vassal _one time_, and-"

"And you're so rude to everyone! I thought you had changed so much from when we first met!"

"Yeah, right, Love Freak! I haven't lost my edge!"

So that was what it was about. Laharl's petty pride. His highness needed to learn a little humility, for his own good and for the good of his kingdom.

"You don't wanna see people getting disrespected, abused, or ridden around, go back to prissy little Celestia, where no one gets their feelings hurt or blown up!"

Even since she received the rank of fallen angel, Flonne had been a little sensitive about her exile to the Netherworld. She would always smile, always make the best of the situation, but deep down...

"Uh, Prince...maybe you shouldn't bring that up..."

"Oh, what's the love freak gonna do? Love me with her...her...love-y love-ness?"

Flonne shot up from her seat and stomped over to Laharl.

"Flonne? What the hell-"

She yanked him off his chair, sat back down, and yanked him over her knee. She grabbed the edge of his shorts and with one good yank, the mighty overlord's bare bottom was exposed to all the Netherworld.

_"HELP!"_ he screamed at the top of his lungs, _"FLONNE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!"_

Laharl lived in a big, well populated castle. It was hard, but if you listened hard enough, you could sometimes heard an echo above the chattering the residents.

But this wasn't one of those times. This was one of those times you could hear a boy scream "rape" loud and clear, so everyone flooded into the dining room. All the vassals, all the staff, and even that one creepy guy that worked at Rosen Queen who secretly gave Laharl free candy. They all came to see their overlord get raped by cute little Flonne.

Laharl's legs flailed about under the surprisingly strong grip of the fallen angel. She went back to level 1 when she was turned into a fallen angel- retaining only 5 of her original stats- and she was still pinning down the level 189 overlord. That alone was pretty embarrassing, but as Flonne rose her open hand, it was about to get a whole lot worse.

As the sharp sound of flesh stinging flesh echoed throughout the room for the first time, the crowd cheered uproariously. Flonne's hand came down again and again, like divine justice raining down from the Heavens, striking down upon Laharl's ever reddening buttocks.

"Go, Flonne!" cheered Etna, "Spank that ass!"

One sharp whack after another came, assaulting his cheeks unmercifully. Thirty, forty, fifty, it seems like it wouldn't end. But mercifully, it did.

Not that his humiliation ended there.

Flonne stood up the swollen assed little demon and pulled his shorts back up. She stood him up _before_ pulling his shorts back up. _Before_, treating all present company to a peek at Laharl's genitalia before the quivering, whimpering, teary eyed overlord got a gentle hug from his emotional violator.

"I'm sorry, Laharl." she said, her tone much softer now, "I did this because I love you. I hope you can forgive me."

That infuriated him like nothing else. He wanted to yell, to scream, to re-assert his dominance and give her a bare-butt spanking right back, then later show off _her_ bare naked genitals to the whole kingdom.

Instead, he ran to his room, crying like the little boy most everyone knew he actually was.

* * *

"T-Shirts! Get your t-shirts here! Only twelve Hell!"

"I'll take seven." said Etna, "One for every day of the week."

"Yes, ma'am! And may I point out our sources have taken pictures from multiple angles?"

Indeed, a few of the "I witnessed Overlord Laharl almost get raped by the fallen angel Flonne and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!" shirts (the font was very small) did have pictures of Laharl's greatest defeat from various angles.

"Oooh! I'll take one of those...couple of those...oh! I gotta have that one! I so wanna wear that look he has on his face!"

Etna loved that someone had finally taken a hand to the Prince's royal butt. He had it coming for such a long time. There was a fine line between being a demon and just being a total jerk-ass, and Laharl always saw fit to trample all over that line as if he owned it. He really needed to be brought down a peg.

It was pretty darn funny, too.

Flonne, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as ecstatic. True, Laharl did need a little discipline, but she inadvertently embarrassed him in front of his whole court, as well as that nice- but somewhat disturbing- older gentleman behind the counter whole seemed lost in a t-shirt that had a good ass shot of Laharl, with "OWNED!" written on his cheeks. This must have hurt him more than a mere butt whupping. He tried so hard to the command fear and respect (mostly fear) that his title held, and it wasn't easy for him, being so young and all. That morning, Flonne had pulled down all his efforts around his ankles and paddled his dignity until it was as swollen and red as someone's butt after it had been spanked so hard, it was swollen and red.

"Hey, Flonne!" waved Etna, "Hurry up and grab a shirt! They still have a few in your size!"

"Etna, maybe I shouldn't have spanked Laharl. Just look at all this! Outside, so many people wanted my autograph, and now there are these t-shirts..."

"And mugs. They're getting mugs tomorrow. Every morning, I'm gonna whip that baby out at the breakfast table, and go 'Mmm! That's a fine cup of bitch!'."

"This is serious! I may have deeply hurt Laharl."

"Nonsense! He had it coming to him! Just because he's an overlord doesn't give him the right to be a royal ass. I would have spanked him myself if I didn't think he'd like the idea of getting spanked by a girl in leather."

Flonne frowned. Maybe he did have it coming to him, but this had still gone way too far. She had to make it up to him somehow.

"Etna, does Laharl know about all this yet?"

"Well, word's obviously out of the castle, and with all these t-shirts, he's gonna find out the second he comes out of his room."

"This is terrible! How can I..."

Suddenly, a perky little smile crossed her lips.

"I have an idea! Let's get the Dark Congress to declare a Naked Day!"

Etna stared at her in shock.

"Naked Day?! As in...make everyone walk around naked?"

"Yes!" she said cheerfully, "Everyone will have to take off their t-shirts, and that will give us a chance to destroy them. Laharl will never know about them, everyone will forget about me spanking him, and it's not like a lot of demons aren't already naked."

"Uh, not all of us, Flonne." Etna said, pointing to herself, "And what about the mugs?"

"We'll submit a mug smashing bill. Demons like to break things, right?"

"Well, yeah, smashing stuff is fun...but Naked Day? You and me...get naked?"

"Oh, it's a small price to pay for a friend, right?"

Begrudgingly, Etna gave in. Not before mentioning the t-shirts were sold at an even smaller price, but she gave in, regardless.

Time to get naked for a friend.

* * *

By the time Laharl left his room, all the t-shirts had been sold off, and mercifully, no one who was wearing one was in the general area. He plopped down at a stool in front of the Rosen Queen shop- icepack for a cushion- and confided (or complained, rather) to that nice, single, middle aged man that snuck him a candy bar.

"Thanks...Charlie?"

"Chester, you highness." he said, smiling entirely too much for the comfort of most.

"Can you believe that crap? She _spanked_ me! Like I'm some little kid! The nerve of that stupid, flower brained...dumb...smiley...happy...shiny...suckhead."

"That isn't right! A beautiful boy like you shouldn't come to such harm! You should get a boy for you to spank yourself!"

"Uh..."

Laharl raised an eyebrow.

"I kinda like this 'whipping boy' idea you have...but _me_ spank him?"

"Uh, of course! You _are_ the overlord, after all! It makes sense that you be the one to deliver punishment!"

"It does, doesn't it?" grinned Laharl, "Yeah! A nice, hard spanking oughtta serve as a good warning to all who oppose me!"

"And then you can make that boy suck your wiener."

And that's about when things started getting a little strange.

"Excuse me?"

"Uh, y'know, to, uh, to show your dominance! Yeah! Nothing will show that little hussy who spanked you who's boss like a little boy sucking on your wiener!"

Laharl wasn't entirely sure where this conversation was going. On one hand, all sorts of bells and whistles were going on in his head. On the other hand, this guy was always giving him free candy. He even gave him bubble bath soap that one time, and that can of funny tasting "Savior Soda", which was a thinly veiled reference to-

"Happy Naked Day!" a pair of voices chimed from behind him.

Flonne was there.

Naked.

And Etna was behind her.

Also naked.

"Time to get naked, Laharl!" Flonne cheerfully chimed, obviously more comfortable with the situation than present company.

"HELL NO! What's this all about?!"

"We...declared a naked day, Prince!" Etna said, trying to cover up what she could, "No clothes allowed today, so off with your shorts!"

"Must be my birthday!" Chester muttered to himself, wasting no time in obeying the will of the Dark Congress.

"Why the freakin' _hell_ did you do that?!" shrieked Laharl.

"Because...uh..."

"Public nudity...is cool?" Etna offered.

"Yes!" Flonne perked up, "Because everyone loves public nudity!"

"Well, I don't!"

"Of course you do, Laharl! Didn't you ever have 'naked time' when you were little?"

"What?! Of course not, you sicko!"

"He's lying." said Etna, "He use to run around, declaring himself 'Prince of Nakey' and twirling a diaper above his head. And that was just weeks before you arrived!"

Laharl hopped off his stool.

"I don't have to take this! I'm the freakin' overlord! I am not- I repeat, NOT- gonna-"

Then he realized his eyes were about at nipple level with Flonne.

Well, fancy that.

Taking advantage of his stunned state, Etna suddenly darted from her hiding place behind Flonne and snatched Laharl by the waistband. With one quick tug, Laharl fell back on the cold, hard ground. Very cold, in fact. Why was it so cold all of a sudden?

Oh, yes. Etna just robbed him of his clothes and what dignity he had left.

* * *

"Flonne...I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you, bring you back from the dead, and kill you again."

"Oh, Etna! It's understandable that Laharl is angry with us."

Etna stared at her in disbelief as they nakedly sat on the cold stone floor of the dungeon.

"When he calms down, we can tell him the truth, and he'll appreciate what good friends we are!"

"That's quite the lovely fantasy world you're living in, there."

Etna squirmed a bit, trying to block out images of whatever she might be sitting on.

"You have a nice body, Etna."

"What?"

"You have a nice body. I never noticed that before. You look like a mischievous little imp!"

"Rewind a bit there, Flonne. Uh...why...uh...why'd you notice this, all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because you're naked."

"W-What?!"

"Oooooh! You're so cute like this! All vulnerable, and endearing, and...naked! It's just too adorable!"

"Hell no, it's not adorable!"

"Yes it is! You look so frail and defenseless! I just wanna scoop you up in my arms and give you a great big hug!"

"Flonne...ew."

"What? There's nothing disgusting about hugs."

"Uh, I'm naked. And _you're_ naked."

"That just makes it cuter!"

"Wha?! Flonne! They...they don't have porn in Celestia, do they?"

"Um...no. What's that?"

"You...y'know, adult magazines? Videos? Websites?"

"I've never heard of a such a thing."

Etna sighed.

"I found the secret royal porn stash not too long ago. And you know what it was full of, Flonne? Do you know?"

"No, what?"

"NAKED GIRLS HUGGING!"

"That sounds sweet!" Flonne giggled.

"They were shoving- W-What the hell?!"

"It sounds like it would be very cute!"

"Wha...Flonne...are you gay?"

"Of course. I'm often very gay! If you have a positive attitude-"

"No, no. I mean, are you a lesbian?"

"No, I'm a Celestian. Etna, are you feeling alright?"

"Sheesh...no, look. You know how that one catgirl in the Dark Assembly?"

"I thought they were called the 'Dark Congress'?"

"Nevermind that. You notice how eager she was to vote for the Naked Day bill? And that succubus in the back? Y'know, that one that came up to us afterwards and rubbed your shoulder?"

"They were pretty!"

"Flonne...they want hug and kiss you."

"Ahhhh! That's so nice of them!"

"And have sex with you. Have sexual intercourse. With you. And probably me, too...which doesn't surprise me at all, of course."

"Wait...but...isn't that how babies are made?"

"Yup."

"But...wait, how does that work?"

"Use your imagination."

"Does that mean...girls can have babies with each other?!"

Blink.

Twitch.

"Oooooh! I'd love to have a baby with you, Etna!"

"LAHARL! GET US OUT OF HERE NOW!"

* * *

What an utterly miserable day this had been. Laharl's butt would be sore if it hadn't gone numb from sitting on an icepack, he was totally naked since all his clothes had somehow disappeared from his closet, he was bored out of his mind since being spanked and being naked in the same day had forced him to hide out in the throne room the whole day, and now these more..._creepy_ prinnies kept gathering around as he nakedly sat on his throne, trying to cover up his naked nudity.

"GO AWAY!" Laharl screamed at them, "Yes, I'm naked! Why don't you just take a picture?!"

And then one of the prinnies did just that.

"I swear to God, I'm getting off this throne! I am _so_ getting on this throne and wailing on you all if you don't buzz off!"

Then one of the little weirdoes actually walked up to him.

"Have you ever heard of NeWMBLA, dood?" he said as he tried to give Laharl a pamphlet, "It's the Netherworld Man Boy Love-"

"Love?!" yelled Laharl as he throttled the penguin perv, "Let me tell you, I have had enough freakin' love for one day! I...I'm gonna spank you just being a _stupid butthole love freak!_"

"Oh God, yes, dood!" the prinny squealed as Laharl put it over his lap, "I need you inside me, dood!"

Not entirely sure why the prinny seemed so excited to be spanked (or what being "inside him" meant, for that matter), he tossed him instead, using the resulting explosion to scatter the rest of the prinny pedophiles.

"Stupid love freaks." he muttered, "What's the deal with them and spankings?"

His foul mood took a small turn for the better when Etna and Flonne were presented before him.

Still naked.

"Oh, I bet you think it was _real_ funny!" Laharl nakedly smirked, "First you spank me, then you get me naked. Yeah! Real laugh riot, Flonne!"

"Laharl..." Flonne whimpered, "I didn't mean to-"

"Can it, Love Freak! It's time _you_ were embarrassed! Get on your hands and knees!"

"PRINCE!" Etna yelled, "That is the single most disgusting-"

"I'm just gonna spank her!" Laharl spoke up, "I can't bend her over my knee! She's too big!"

"You egotistical little freak! I'll have you know Flonne-"

"It's alright." Flonne said with a sigh, "If it will make Laharl feel better, then he can spank me."

His smirk grew into a wicked smile as Flonne got on her hands and knees, ready to receive punishment.

Naked little Flonne...on her hands and knees...wanting to be spanked for being disobedient...

The thought made Laharl feel...tingly all over...

And it made him want to cross his legs and blush.

"Uh, you know what? You do it, Etna."

"Excuse me, perv?!"

"I-I-I'm naked! I don't want you looking at my junk!"

"Believe me, Prince, that won't be a problem. I'll just close my eyes and turn around-"

"Look!" he demanded, "_You're_ the vassal! _You_ take orders from _me!_ Now, Etna, spank Flonne or...I'll spank the both of you myself!"

Muttering something under her breath, Etna regrettably kneeled next to Flonne and raised her hand. With a moment of hesitation, she began to bring her hand down on the fallen angel's bare butt again and again.

Making her give a high-pitched squeal with each slap...

And quiver ever-so-slightly...

Strangely, Laharl didn't feel any measure of sweet, satisfying revenge. Instead, the tingly feel grew more and more. It grew long and hard, and throbbed with intensity each time a sound would pass over Flonne's lips.

"OKAY!" he shrieked, trying desperately to his shame, "That's enough!"

"Prince, that was just five whacks."

"It's alright!" said Laharl, blushing furiously, "She's learned her lesson."

"That's kind of you, Laharl," Flonne solemnly said, "But it's only right that I receive all the spankings I gave you. All one hundred of them. Please, Etna, continue to spank me."

"NO!" he squealed as he squirmed in his throne, "Really! You don't have to do that! I forgive you for spanking me in front of all my subjects, okay?!"

"Ahhhhh!" Flonne beamed, "Laharl! That's so nice of you!"

Laharl's bony, rigid tingly feeling was finally calming down. Now...

Etna was smiling. Why was Etna smiling?

"Y'know what, Flonne?" she said with a mischievous grin on her lips, "I bet the Prince would like a big hug! I'm sure he wants to give you a biiiiiiiig, looooong hug!"

"No, I don't!" he blushed, "I-I'm just being a good ruler, that's all! I shouldn't hold grudges against my subjects!"

"Ahhhh! He's shy!" Etna cooed, "Okay, Mr. Tough Guy, how about me and Flonne hug?"

"But Etna, you said-"

"That it would be fun to hug another girl naked? You bet! C'mon, Flonne! Gimme a hug!"

And so, the two naked girls nudely hugged each other with no clothes on.

"Look, Laharl! We're being lesbians!"

Laharl covered himself the best he could and made a mad dash for the sanctity of his room.

Also, he had a wicked boner.

* * *

Author's notes: Laharl's probably masturbating, now. As are you. Yes, I can see you. That's how the internet works.

Hmm? What's that? You were expecting something with two super powered Goth chicks kissing? Yeah, well, life's full of disappointments. Etna and Flonne aren't going to be doing it in the next chapter, either, so you might as well take up drinking or pills. Or hey, you could just read _Forbidden Fruit_ some more, then make up your _own_ new chapters. Raven, Jinx, and Argent could have a threesome or something.

...Still around? Okay, so next time, Laharl and Flonne learn about sex! And that isn't even a fraction of how filthy this story's going to get! Good lord, what happened to my innocence?


End file.
